A Strange Week...

Having not visited NJ (home) in over a year and a half, I had to book a quick flight last week due to the passing of my grandmother Pearl. My grandmother was my sisters and I only grandparent and my parents named my middle name after her. I always felt a connection with my grandmother and after looking back at old pictures, now I know why.

Besides my middle name, Grandma was the 6th person in our family of five. She was not wealthy but was the most supportive of any decision we made in our lives. When we moved to Arizona, all she would say is, "I wish you didn't move so far away but I am jealous that you finally did it; I should have done it years ago."

In the Jewish religion, there is a seven day mourning period and burial within 48 hours. some say its dragging out the death but honestly, it was helpful to be around friends and family during this time. There were mixed emotions from not seeing everyone for over a year to everyone who paid their respects knew my Grandma Pearl. As I said, Grandma knew everyone and everyone knew Grandma.

My mother was quite shocked with the amount of friends that came over which made her feel good since she didn't want to observe the Shiva time. As any time a close family member passes, the time it takes to get through the missing piece of the puzzle will take its toll and time to heal. The day of the funeral, after we went to my Uncle's in Queens and it felt odd not having Grandma there. Looking around and not seeing her smiling face made it a reality which I wasn't ready for.

Everyone mourns in their own way. Some get angry, have anxiety, cry or just seem like they are in a daze. I think I have experienced all four of these emotions as well as some others and know it is just part of the healing process. For anyone who has lost a close relative, I never understood the pain they felt. Now I understand the pain, the emotions and the missing piece...